Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sad Sepia Sky Watch Friday ...

Sometimes I see my sister Wendy's spirit sitting in the clouds. It's the honest, to God, truth ... and this is what it looked like the night before last.

I now have all my momentos of her in one place, and again, I am putting together a display of photos and objects. My niece, Catherine, gave back many of the things I gave her Mother during her life. And I have everything she ever gave me. I also have many of her clothes and all of her music and books. I have two of her cats. And I have Catherine.


When Catherine first gave me these things it was an absolute trip to come across so many things, from so many places, and over so many years and occasions. Going so far back in time and reviewing a history of my giving, from places she would never see ... a pair of silver Guatemalan Quetzal earrings, a strand of beads from the French West Indies, a bracelet from Hawaii. It was amazing and rewarding both, to see the care she gave in keeping these things safe and special.

So as it turns out ... when I was giving these gifts to Wendy, I was actually giving these gifts to myself, not knowing she would die at 46 and I would have almost all of them back.
I would trade every one of these things, except Catherine and the cats, for one more day with her. It's obviously still very painful. And it doesn't seem to get better. It just gets different ... and farther and father away from the way it used to be.

In some ways it was much easier when the pain was fresh ... and shocking.
I think I liked myself more when she was here. I should work on that. But I like having my identity all tangled up in hers.

More Sky Watching around the world at http://www.skyley.blogspot.com

17 comments:

  1. Fascinating shot, the sky looks golden

    Cheers!
    Regina In Pictures

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  2. Great post, wonderful photo. Happy SWF!

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  3. Very beautiful - and not sad at all.
    You have so much to remember her by, so rejoice and don't be sad! I bet she wouldn't not want you to be! :)
    Cheers, Klaus

    P.S.: Please be so kind a place a link back to the Skywatch site, to invite others to see and share their skies. Thanks
    Your Skywatch Team

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  4. Thanks for sharing! Beautiful capture!~

    Mine is, HERE. See yah!

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  5. Lovely photo.

    It's obvious you miss your sister very much.

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  6. Wow! Nice effects.. looks really gloomy.. happy skywatching! :)

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  7. You do have so much to remember her by. But it makes me sad. And it's okay for you to be sad about her, too.

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  8. Such beautiful memories you have of your sister...a very nice post. Your photo is lovely and seems very spiritual.

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  9. Laurie: That was a very moving post.

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  10. It is a beautiful shot and a good post as well. I am sorry for your loss.

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  11. I am so sorry this is still very painful for you...I suppose it may always be. I love your outlook though, you still have Catherine. very sweet.
    you are such a caring person, I love that.
    Take care,
    Suz

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  12. What an incredible sky. Very well-captured. It is nice when the beauty of nature brings us close to those we have lost.

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  13. I found your post at Busy Bee Suz. Your photography is gorgeous, and I can't wait to go back and see more of it.

    I can't imagine how much your heart aches for your sister. You will never not hurt, but the good memories will grow like flowers, and the pain will fade a bit. Just think, your sister is probably giving Laura Blais what she deserves.
    God bless you for sharing.

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  14. wonderful photo... I am so sorry the loss of a loved one never is easy and you are so correct the pain just becomes different. HUGS to you!

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  15. Beautiful photo, beautiful Wendy, and beautiful memories of her life. Keep her memories and spirit close to your heart and, one day, you'll be reunited again. (And in heaven, you know, we get new bodies... they never wear out, never get sick.... and we never have to deal with death or sickness ever again. Personally, I'm really looking forward to that.) :-)

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  16. Such a beautiful sky would bring to you the love of your Sister. May you find Peace.

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  17. I think I understand what you are saying about the pain. I am sorry that you have to suffer so, but I am glad that you have such a powerful connection to Wendy. I pray that you will have what you need, each day, to deal with the pain, and that the joy of your connection will infuse you enough to offset the pain. God bless you!

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